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12 Years Old and Too Much Pressure to be Perfect

   This is a little song i wrote on how i am feeling right noe w   just cried writing this i am sorry for my mistakes hey i am only 12

Gotta be the perfect student gotta get the perfect grades

Gotta be the mild duaghter who never once gets her say
Gotta deal with the populars cause i know i dont fit in
Ahhhhh
Get the glares from all types of people some think im other drenged so much pressureeeeeeee i cant take it anymore……. When can i be what i want thats i wanta be, wanta do what i want not what you would please i not a robot i dont need to be told what to do One more lecture and ill snap…. dont push me over the limit cause i am on the verge of throwing shomething big showing all who i really am and hope just hope they like it better War going in my head god take me now cause i dont know how ill survibe anthor day Im silly on the iside but supisticated too funny like my uncles but nothing like you you so dont try to mold me that what arist do otherwise i will go crazy and that will break you How you feel if i were no-one to boss around and empty house with no place to clean and youll never me scream and yell you’d lose your mind you’d have nothing to do so stop i am talking to you so stop teling me what to dooooooooooo 

Hi Alice,

I assume you are writing to my counseling website. I’d say you are experiencing a typical and common problem. I call it possessive love. Parents can deeply love their children, but by being protective they can also become control freaks, justifying their actions based on their love for you. It is a common mistake, and it is not easy to be a good parent. One who provides nurturing love to their children and helps them grow to whatever they want to be. In their judgment they are doing the best for you. Unfortunately, they are the ones who go to work and pay for the roof over your head, so you are sort of in their little jail and have to take what is handed to you. I would suggest you try to disassociate yourself from your environment and not take it so personally. Just play along, play the game, but let yourself grow inside as you want. If your parents catch you growing in another direction, I am sure they might be furious, because that is a standard response by people who like to control others. They will feel fully justified on the argument that they are doing this because they love you and want the best for you, but I feel that people are like plants and the best you can do for a plant is to give it love, sun, water and nurturing. Perhaps prune it once in a while (careful and targeted discipline), or change its soil (healthy food). Not to cut and bend the plant to make it look like a different species. We are all different and should be allowed to grow as is natural for us. I am sure my mother would prefer I was a doctor so that she could brag about it to her friends, but that simply was not going to happen. Fortunately for me, I am very strong willed and neither of my parents could control me in any way. Eventually, on my own suggestion, they sent me to a boarding school, because my rebellion and their poor parenting was making the house impossible to live in for all of us. Since you are so young and more naturally complying because you are a female, this might not be an option for you. Try to be wise, grow up faster, and see your parents as the fallible creatures they are. Understand their faults and the reasons why they are doing what they are doing. If possible try to reason with them and explain to them you will grow up as you want to grow up. It is your life, not theirs. Better to try and keep it a secret and explain it to them in a calm manner when you are older and wiser. Just play along and let yourself grow internally as you want. Because conforming is very much against my grain I was sort of an outcast when I was younger, but I always found good friends which I could relate to and grew strong with them. Most people in society are weak conformists, and because they conformed they want everyone else to as well. Such people become xenophobic racists as a result. It is a sad state of humanity and you should take comfort in the fact that you are who you are, that you are in touch with your feelings, and that you are in tune with your convictions. Keep holding onto that flame inside you and you will grow into a much stronger person, than all the sheeple.

Karel

If you would like to ask for advice, feel free to write to me through my contact form.

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