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Hates Himself and Wants to Take Life

I need some serious help. I want to have and exciting life and i want to do good things and change the world. But I just feel stuck. I biggest problem is that I am addicted to pornography and I am only fourteen. Nobody knows about my problems not even my parents. I know it’s wrong but I can’t stop. I hate myself so much and I already don’t know how I could live with my past when I grow up. I am so lonely and just tired of fighting. I’ve tried everything, but now I feel like just giving up. It hurts so much because my life is just made of secrecy and crushed hopes. I don’t know how I could grow up to be something great and change the world like this. I just want to be free from this stage of loneliness and pain. Please help me I’ve tried everything and I just hate myself and have suicidal thoughts. I don’t feel like life is worth living anymore.

We are all tempted by something and none of us are perfect, but if you are hard on yourself with negative energy I think you will only make matters worse. Rather than try to tell yourself “Do not look at porno” you should think positively, like “I want to find something positive and constructive to spend my time on”. If you focus on the negative it will only circulate and grow in your mind. Try to glean yourself slowly of your bad habits, although some people prefer to go cold turkey. If you want to do good in the world, follow your heart and seek out something you could do or would enjoy, and slowly shift towards that. If you like what you are doing you will feel better about yourself, and if you feel good about it you can spend an increasing amount of time doing it, to the point you will not have enough time to spend on your bad habits. In that case you will have less reason to feel bad about yourself and feel better overall. Keep focusing on the positive, light and love, and let the light overcome the darkness. It is like turning on a light switch in a dark room. The dark stands no chance. But if you do not light the candle, only darkness remains, and you stare into the darkness and get dark thoughts. Don’t focus on the darkness at all but light your candle and focus on that. Everything will change after that, on its own.

Hope this helps,

Karel

If you would like to ask for advice, feel free to write to me through my contact form.

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