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Feels Depressed and Insecure

Hi id like to try email counseling?

Sure, fire away.

Okay so the whole year of 2011 i was a bit depressed. Now im not soo depressed. But i sense some feelings. I cry a lot easier too than i used to. And i hold my feeling in.

Sounds like you’re opening up, which is good. How old are you? You should learn how to open your feelings more, and tap into the positive energy of the universe, like through Jesus. I don’t really know what to say because I do not know your specific problems.

Ok well let me start by saying im 14. Young. I know. But depression can comee to all ages. Ive tried finding Jesus. But things got worst.

My problem: Depressed. Nothing is exciting really. Im starting to become insecure and shy. I block people out sometimes. When im home alone i cry. I became distant to family. I really dont like my mom. A lot of my friends are moving away. Im going to the highschool. I feel overweight. Im trying to become more spiritual. Just broke up with bf and last Im nervous about high school. Ive always maintained 4.0. But this is highschool. What if depression effects this?

Hmm, this seems to be a typical problem in the west. So much stress and insecurity. I like to read conspiracy theories and have slowly learned that they make so much more sense than anything else. Beautiful people put on TV on purpose to intimidate the masses. Billboards abounding everywhere enticing you with ideas that you can be happy if you buy this or that. It’s horrible stress. Throw out your TV and find yourself a good book which will help you feel better about yourself. Can be a well written fantasy or learn something useful, which is better. Perhaps books psychology related to help you understand your mind. It is a fascinating and complex instrument. When I got here recently toAsiaI went to a meditation retreat and saw a glimpse of what Buddha stumbled on. That “we” are comprised of a mind, which is capable of observing itself through meditation, and a physical body which feels pain and pleasure. So all this identity stuff and me and I is an illusion. In our busy world the mind observes the pleasure of the body and wants. Or develops attachments. An attachment to icecream because it gives me pleasure and helps me forget about my insecurities. Then I get fatter, feel worse about myself, and have more icecream. Buddha said that these attachments are the single source of our suffering, and if we can break away from this then we are free and truly happy. Exactly what Jesus said, but in a totally different way. These three great men, Buddha, Jesus and Mohammed (who serves the same God of Abraham) have polarized the entire world into three parts by mere words. But the dumb people barely understand and war against one another, thinking that “those people on the other side of the border” are evil. But that’s just the game of the 1%, who make money from wars and the reconstruction projects that follow it. They are the captains of industry, and they need to keep the wheels churning to maintain their power base.

Anyway, you need to tune into yourself, close your eyes to billboards and throw that blasted tv out the window. I’ve even been reading how in theUSthere are cases when police are called into elementary school because some kid is in a tantrum, and the police pins the kid to the floor and handcuffs them in front of the entire class. Or they frequently exercise fire or terrorist drills, where they may cart them off in busloads to unknown locations. It’s a game of intimidation and don’t let that bastard 1% brainwash you and make you feel like an insignificant ant. You have great power within you and you just need to find that. Ignore all that busy busy intimidation stuff, get out to quiet nature and read something to enlighten you to the powers that you have. The bible says that the kingdom of heaven is not over there or under some rock but it is inside your heart. Finding it is the key. The 1% and their propaganda machine, the media, is designed to dumb you down and make you feel insignificant. Stand up and learn how to occupy your own heart. Tap into the loving energy of the universe, such as Jesus, and armour yourself as a warrior of righteousness:

The Armor of God

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. 

Oh, and depression can certainly affect your grades. If you had a goal in life and inching your way towards it made you happier, it would give you drive, direction, and motivation to develop your skills to get there faster. A lot of people just go to school, get indoctrinated with all their ideas, and really don’t know what they want to do with their lives. Just following orders and waving their arms. No wonder so many people in the west are depressed and take prozac. Don’t let yourself fall into that rut. You’re young and still have a chance. Empower yourself, seek wisdom and understanding as the bible suggest, find a mission in life for yourself and then pursue it. Ignore anyone who gets in your way. The meager and weak will always try to discourage you, simply because of envy, which are the astounding traits of the weak.

Good luck!

So you’re saying i need to stop watching tv so much and using technology? It’s i Soo easy to say but when you grew up in a world with all types of technology its hard. And growing up in a phony church you cant help but to go to an ipod or a phone. They help you forget you have problems. I’d rather face my problems than forget but its going to take everything in me. My ex told me i needed to find Myself and get more spiritual. I have a goal. I want to attend OSU. I read a lot of books a week. But any recommendations on a book?

I wouldn’t say to escape all technology. I sit in front of the computer all day, and then later if I’m reading or watching something. You can use a technological device as a very effective tool, it’s just not good if you get absorbed by it, like some game you can get addicted to. Sure, it’s fun to play games but others can get addicted to porno and such tools can easily become a temptation which drives you away from proper focus. It’s something you should try to be aware of, and separate yourself from the temptation. Focus on something which is meaningful and productive. You can work on yourself, help others, create something – there are many useful things you can do. People who let themselves fall into the trap of capitalism’s many many temptations can easily lose control of their lives and not even know why they are having constant anxiety attacks and always depressed. The tricks of the devil are very shrewd indeed.

Concerning Christian reading, I’ve started that page. Not so developed. Recently I found some pretty interesting reading on the Essenes. See if you can find it on the internet. Otherwise I self-reflect a lot. It helps to understand how one ticks, and to try and keep an open ear for criticism, as it is difficult to see oneself as others do, who can see things you yourself don’t even know about. It’s hard for me to give you more than that, but I’d suggest you use the internet for learning and searching for stuff like this. Sometimes you can resort to buying a book from amazon, or finding it at your local library if you read an interesting writeup about it.

Keep focusing!

You are a huge help. But since we are being honest. Im on my ipod touch all day! I do good and bad things. Bad things? I talk to guys online, i watch porn every now and then, download free music and twitter. Good? Hmm i read a lot, i make money, i created a website for people to open up, i write a blog, and i create an app. But addicted. Twitter and reading would be my only addiction. Is that bad?

Is normal to cry for a hour straight? I told u everytime i try to get better life wants to push me down. My life just got worse.

Doesn’t sound bad. What are you reading? Maybe try self-help/positive thinking books? I read your initial letter and I can’t really see the source of your depression. For me I used to feel empty and alone, until the day I asked for Jesus to come into my heart. I was reading the bible for about a year and felt his Spirit strong in the church I went to with my dad when I was visiting him for a short while, but one day I felt totally empty and depressed and felt desperate enough to pray for Jesus to come into my heart. Maybe that is why God made me so depressed (because I found no apparent reason), to force me to say those words, especially while my heart was soft and starving. The next day I thought I was walking on the clouds and, as I was walking down a street in a bad part of town, I felt this great bubble rising in my heart, the living Word of God that wanted to speak out and spread the good news. Unfortunately I was too chicken back then and didn’t feel prepared, at that rather young age, to become ridiculed by everyone who knew me, so I repressed it and apologized to God that I am not ready yet. Then I drifted back down from the clouds and I guess have fallen so quickly from his First Love. In any case, since then, so many years ago, I don’t remember being depressed that much. Never felt alone again. If I was depressed it was usually because of my financial situation or lack of success with my business, or because of some girl, but I felt that something stayed with me. Perhaps when you said you “tried Jesus” it was just going to some church which did not impress you. I rarely find a church which impresses me. Anyway, perhaps you need to do that. More powerful if you find a good priest or group of Christians to lay their hands on you, to transfer the Spirit of Jesus to you and which lives in them. Just an idea. Or is there some source of great negativity in your life? Not really liking your mother shouldn’t be a major source of depression.

If you cry for an hour its better than bottling it up and not crying at all. At least you release it. Who is trying to push you down? What in your life just got worse?

I read regular teen fiction books. Yes i feel like that!! Empty and alone. Nope. I dont like my mom. I switched churches last year. I no longer go to church with my family i go with my friend. And i like it there. Oh theres a lot of negative energy. Im a teen and highschool is all about it. I like my new church but i still can’t find Jesus! Why is this so hard?! Is it time to give up and let fate take its course?

Reading fiction books can be okay but it’s good to realize that it can be a form of escapism, like video games and so on. So maybe try to sprinkle your reading with something which will make you understand yourself better and give you better insight. I can imagine the negativity of highschool – mine was pretty close to hell. Difficult to mature in such an environment which can foster such insecurity. Best to find good friends and a good support group and just ignore the negativity. Or if you learn by reading you could understand that a lot of the negativity from others comes from their own insecurity. If you understand your “foe” it is easier to forgive them and find a workable solution how to deal with them.

Concerning finding Jesus, the bible says “Seek and you shall find”. But that can have broader meaning, such as: “Seek to satisfy your own pride and that is precisely what you will get.” Anyway, I once wrote this page:

Maybe that will help. Otherwise I would just suggest you keep your focus on the positive and try to glean out the negative from your life. Pray and give thanks on every occasion. In the bible God often speaks about working on our soul. Breaking down our hard, proud clay and then adding his love and water to soften it again so as to mold our souls. It also says that “chance and misfortune happen to them all”, which means that you should not assume that God is behind every bad experience in your life. So there is definitely room for you to be proactive, to improve your own life, and I would not just surrender to fate. Surrender your heart to God but don’t surrender your circumstances to fate. You can work out a plan to improve your life for the better, while you use your faith to keep you plodding forward. I’m almost 50 and still struggling with this and that. Simple part of life.

But the bible is so uninteresting. So many rules that ive been breaking since birth. My whole family is christian and the looove the Lord. But my dads side.. Ehh. I thought i had a great foundation being raised in my great uncle church (which is now sinful since he died) but i guess not. I thought Jesus would come to me a just wipe all my sadness away with one big prayer. But no. I feel sick, more insecure, 5 bffs are moving, alot of other friends going to a different school, highschool is going to be too much, and the stress of trying to earn a scholarship is gonna be overwhelming. But maybe if i keep myself occupied with books, homework, video games, tv, music, volunteering, work, being with bff, and extra curricular activities i can block out the pain. I have weird questions that ive been wanting to know since i was 9. Is masturbating sinning? Is watching porn sinning? Is listening to real bad music sinning? Is watching real bad shows sinning? BTW thanks for all the help you youve been giving me. It took me two years! To find online email counseling. I needed this without my mom knowing.

Recently I started comparing the bible to the swastika. For thousands of years this symbol was about love and harmony, until some asshole came along and hijacked it. The words of Jesus are divine, and I’m fortunate for not being indoctrinated by some fundamentalist but I simply felt this divinity once I picked it up and started reading it – although I was inspired by a charismatic church first. For many years before that I claimed I was an atheist, but before that I had a natural and spiritual connection with God, while my parents and everyone around me its seems were “happy” atheists. So between the 1% hijacking this message as part of its population control experiments and the occasional ranting fundamentalist, I can see why so many people are turned off by this most read book in the world.

What concerns the rules, it says that “your sin separates you from God”. Everything you listed above can be considered as sin because it is a distraction, a temptation, occupying your mind for the moment so you don’t have to deal with life, or distract you from focusing on spiritual matters – those which can make you happy and not all these distractions. If you weed out the literal meaning of the bible and look for the divine message it would be better. I recently read a book by a monk who argued that the divine message behind Buddhism and Christianity is basically the same, but that the dumb people can’t see past their nose and focus only on the literal meaning. The bible itself says it is written in code, so that it “appears like foolishness to those who are perishing” (those who do not live a spiritual life and couldn’t care the least about it).

Yah, I don’t mind this correspondence, as it is a nice break from my work. But sometimes I fear it might get a lot of traffic or I’ll get questions from many people and it will start to seriously interfere with my work, or I won’t have time to answer everyone, but so far it comes in nice little spurts.

Wow 🙂 you replyed fast. Ok their is one problem. I can’t afford a bible. But i will save. I really can’t stop masturbating either. But all those other things. I can. I’ll try though.

Yah, moved to a paradise island inThailand, so I’m just starting my day. I’d suggest the NIV, as it is very careful about the translation and does not interpret things like other versions do.

We can’t be perfect, as the bible admits, so don’t let yourself be burdened with the shame of imperfection, how some fundamentalists would love to make you feel, but focus on the positive and spiritual, and everything else will slowly follow. As the principle of positive thinking states, if you dwell on the negative (your imperfections) they will grow and consume you. Focus instead on the positive and let that start to crowd out and eventually take over the negative.

(I freaking love you! Lol. Thanks for that. What time is it there? I don’t want to keep you up. It 10:20pm here.)

A young pastor told us young ones need to cut some friends out of our life. The bad ones. I have a lot of bad friends but they dont influence me. Is that wrong? And if my mom tells me to do something and i dont,is that sinning?

It’s 10am in the morning, so no worries about keeping me up, heh heh.

It’s possible that it might be better to weed out “bad” friends, but Paul says that we were sent here to go out into the world of people to spread the good news to them, by example, for example. Christ certainly mingled with the sinners of his day, and when scolded by the authorities, he replied that he was sent to heal the sick, not to chat and have tea with those who are already saved. So to huddle and hide in a church from the very scary world is not the right approach. If you are saved then it should become your mission to save others.

What concerns your mom, Jesus himself said that he came to divide people and families. You should stay true to your soul, through which the Spirit speaks to you. Seek the truth and harmony with it, and everything will follow. Such people will always come up against one resistance or another. Then again, if creating friction unnecessarily or out of stubbornness creates unnecessary problems for you, and it doesn’t really accomplish anything, it is pointless. So use judgement in how you deal with your mother or anyone else around you. I wouldn’t call that sinning.

If you would like to ask for advice, feel free to write to me through my contact form.

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