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Feels Guilty for Surfing Porno Sites

Hello there. I am 13 years old, and I have had Jesus in my heart ever since I was a little boy. At age 12, even though I was a Christian and Jesus was in my heart, I would go to “bad websites”. Finally, I told myself “enough is enough!”. And I stopped, and promised I would never ever do something as stupid as that again. After words, I was living a great guilt free life, I was baptized, and my faith was really growing. About last month, I found out that all of my browsing history can be easily recovered and viewed. It made me so sick to my stomach, that I devoted hours of time and energy to trying to permanently remove the “taint” on the computer. free-Christian-counseling-557260_10151073785520941_147499668_nBut I don’t think I was successful. All this week, the only thing keeping me from suicide is my family, and how bad it would make them feel if I ended my life. So I haven’t. The whole reason why I feel this way is because I would rather be dead then let my parents see what I used to be, even though I have repented, I don’t think they would understand. I think that we might have that computer for years from now, which mean I would have to live with my guilt for years from now, which I don’t think I could handle. Please help! Sincerely, Joshua.

Well, if you ask your parents how you came to exist, if they are honest they will have to admit they fornicated and they fornicated because of their physical lust for one another (although love is there too). As you grow you will realize that adults and parents are far from perfect, and that you are simply turning into one of them. If they do not accept your confession then they are not honest with themselves. These puberty issues can always be immensely embarrassing and it can easily take decades, or never, before a person can feel comfortable with themselves, such as sexually. You have these desires because your body was programmed to get aroused, otherwise humanity would not procreate and we would cease to exist. So there is no reason to be ashamed of the thoughts you have in you – they are natural. What matters is how you respond to these thoughts. Mind over matter. You either plunge into the passion and lose yourself from Christ, or you learn how to control your mind and emotions. Certainly no need to commit suicide and simply growing pains, which everyone has to go through. Learn to address these issues honestly, straight on, and you will only end up maturing faster.

If you would like to ask for advice, feel free to write to me through my contact form.

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