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Life is falling apart, marriage causing misery

I feel as if my whole life is just falling apart. Where do i start?? Well. lets try to begin with what is needed.. I have been married about 7 years. I have a wonderful husband which I love dearly. We used to be best friends until about two years ago. We moved from PTA to a farm quite remote. It is OK, as we both grew up in that area and we know everybody around and also our families live here. He had to go 2 weeks in a month to PTA to go and do work. It was all fine and good and then it all started. He didn’t really phone me to hear how it is going and when he did he normally was so rude i couldn’t even talk to him. As if he didn’t have any time for me at all. We started to fight a lot and even though it broke my heart when he went to work I couldn’t wait for him to leave. It just got worse and worse. Later in the year his brother got married. Before the marriage he organized the bachelors. I desperately asked him not to go to a strip club for this as i knew how much it meant for my to be sister in law. He promised me they will only have a braai and what ever else. The next day i phoned him he said nothing, where we would usually share everything. I went to my to be sister in laws batchelorettes and there everything came out. From my other sister in law whose husband cheats since the day they met. Later on My sister in law told me everything. It was even worse than i imagined.. They went to a few places and he never told me anything. Till today there’s still secrets popping out everywhere and it just breaks me. My whole life fell apart… I met someone who i could talk to and give me some advice. In the end I ended up in a sort off affair.. I know it is wrong and I don’t know how or where to stop or to make it right… I told my husband about it and he forgave me. I tried to commit suicide afterwards a few times.. Where do I start to make things right???

Hello Monica,

if you tried to commit suicide then it means you are in a negative environment that you either need to resolve or get out of. Sure, God wants us to stick with our marriage vows, but if eventually you end up in a very unhappy and unresolveable situation, he would rather you be happy than to continue to suffer. I would suggest that you talk about this with your husband, that you tried to commit suicide, and ask if he wants to help you resolve the situation. If he doesn’t then I do not believe there is any point in continuing. Unless perhaps you have a lot of children in the house or something, but you wont do them any good by not being there, so you need to resolve this one way or another.

You can also pray to God to turn your husband’s heart towards the better, but if your husband doesn’t want to go that direction, God will not force it on him.

Once you are out of your negative environment or have resolved it, then pray a lot and seek positive reinforcements. You are a creature like all of us who need love and nurturing. A flower wilts without sunlight and water.

If you would like to ask for advice, feel free to write to me through my contact form.

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